Lack of Enthusiasm June 30, 2008

Not from me, but my eldest daughter. I’m getting increasingly frustrated with the fact that I can’t motivate her to practice at home and she flat out refuses to learn any more moves of her poomsae. More irritating to me is I am in a position where I am sort of held responsible for this, to the point where Grandmaster basically told me to pull her out of class to teach her the next moves. It was a laughable experience because she would rather dig a spork into her eye socket than have her mother show her anything.

I really, really don’t want her to quit (she’s 10 btw), and it doesn’t really make sense anyhow, since she would be with me when I went to class anyway. I definately see where TKD has helped her socially, and the look on her face when she performs well is priceless. Especially her last test where she broke the board on the first try. I have tried flat out avoiding critiquing her or offering suggestions for improvement, or offering them gently and her performance when working with me quickly goes south. She gets sloppy, then when I gently tell her to slow down and breathe before trying again, she will hear nothing of it. She said she’s bored. She also has this attitude that she knows everything already (it’s already starting, *sigh*), even though it’s painfully clear in execution that she doesn’t. I’m not looking for perfection from her. I’m looking more for effort, which at times is completely lacking. I praise her when she is obviously trying to master a kick or a technique, and try not to let her get overly frustrated. She does much better with an instructor, but it’s pretty clear her heart isn’t in it. In fact I wonder if my accelerating has killed her motivation somehow.

I’m of half a mind to let her quit, but then I would get the inevitable questions from the staff. Already my husband has gone from some interest to total ambivalence about TKD and is considering taking a break because it hasn’t been enjoyable for him in quite some time and he keeps getting hurt. I try to keep an attitude at the dojang that I am not my husband’s keeper. What he decides is not my responsibility, but it’s much harder to do that when it’s one of my children.

Any advice for a frustrated mom?

Blue and Brown June 28, 2008

Blue: The color of the uniforms that the HVAC workers wear. I’m getting way to familiar with it this weekend. We had a new air conditioning system installed on Thursday along with a humidifier and hot water heater. The were here until midnight Thursday installing everything. They came back yesterday evening to fix a leak with one of the connections of the water heater. Then they were back today to try to sort out why the air isn’t blowing cold inside the house, you know, where it does the most good. They will be back on Monday for what I hope is the last time. Thankfully the weather cooled off today so I may actually sleep comfortably tonight.

Brown: The belt that I just earned today! As usual my performance anxiety cropped up. It’s gotten better now that I know that I can do my board break a week prior to the test. I managed to break it on the first try and not break my toes. That was my biggest concern because it was the first time I had to break using the ball of my foot instead of my heel. Getting my toes out of the way was a priority. My test went well, so well in fact that I was told that my performance improved dramatically from my last test and I was even used as an example on how to execute the poomsae with the proper amount of snap and power. This meant a lot considering it came from one of the other instructors and not Grandmaster, who has seen me at my best. One of the other black belts also made it a point to congratulate me on doing so well with it. My confidence is definately getting better with each test, and I’m trying to curb my perfectionist tendencies. Most people aren’t going to notice a small error as much as I will notice it in my own performance.

Also in the good news category, physical therapy came to an end, my foot has been feeling a lot better and as long as I keep up the exercises and give myself ample time to stretch before tae kwon do, I should be fine. That and my next test is in 2 months instead of just one, and my private lessons go down to once a week. I get a little breathing room before my next test, and just in time too. I was starting to feel like I was at the mercy of my schedule which got a bit hectic.

Grandmaster was kind enough to give me a preview of two new kicks I get to learn in brown belt. The first was a tornado kick, which is a lot of fun, and the other is Ddwieu Duikumchi Ahp Dollyeo Chagi (isn’t that a mouthful?). I’m looking forward to working on both of them.

On a totally unrelated note, we saw WALL-E tonight. Go see it, it’s really cute and touching, along with an interesting social commentary.

I am the Lizard King! June 15, 2008

Got this at Skwigg’s. This is frighteningly close to how I feel when I’m over-caffeinated.

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

Hmmm, Kool-Aid May 5, 2008

Walking home after dropping the kids off at school I was going through the hand movements in my poomsae.  I think I officially drank the kool-aid.

Did I get kicked in the head and not remember? April 8, 2008

Last night at TKD we were paired up to work on applications. My first partner is far from my favorite, but there isn’t much I can do about it. I was happy with my performance last night, I felt focused and energized and actually felt capable for a moment. However, doing our applications I got kicked in the elbow…repeatedly. It might be the way I hold my arms, perhaps I’m not keeping my elbows in when I am in the defensive position. Or maybe I’m supposed to learn some lesson about minor injuries this week. Two days prior we were doing our kick-punch drills on the standing bags. Our instructor hopped on our bag to punch while I was kicking. There was some poor timing involved because I managed to strike his bony elbow with the top of my foot. I’m sporting an interesting bruise right near my toes.

Anyhoo, this morning I was heading out for coffee and to pick up some Burger King for my husband. His request, the thought of BK in the morning makes my stomach do flip flops. I either really thought it was a bad idea for him to have that or I got kicked in the head last night and don’t remember. I went towards BK and when I came to that street, I turned the wrong way. After turning myself around I managed to pass it right up without realizing it until I got to the Starbucks down the street. Since I was there, I got my coffee and promptly forgot where I parked the car. After a few awkward moments I found it and got his BK and finally got on my way. It’s a miracle I remembered how to get home.

Dainty Ankles and Jump Kicks February 5, 2008

Last night in class I finally learned my new gyeokpa (board breaking kick) last night and it’s not easy. It’s the first one I have to do with a jump. I wish I had a good video of it to show you. Basically I stand perpendicular to the board, and jump in the air while cocking and kicking the leg closest to the target. I’m getting the hang of the kick, but my landing had my instructor nervous. See I have tiny little ankles. Dainty little things really. Even at my heaviest and when I was working out a ton they were still very dainty and delicate looking. Apparently every time I landed from one of my kicks, my instructor noticed that my ankle would “wobble”. Now, I’ve sprained both ankles before (one of them twice), but that was from rolling my foot under me in some way. Unless I do something really wrong, I’m landing pretty much flat on my foot. I had no problem with the landings yesterday, but today I’m getting little twinges that tell me that I was putting some extra stress on that particular joint. I also noticed that at the start of class when we run laps, if I push off just wrong with one foot, I get an ankle twinge that slows me down. I usually stop running and just walk until the twinge goes away.

Here’s where I could use some help. Does anyone know any exercises using nothing but my body weight/household items/free weights that I can do to boost my ankle strength and stability? Or am I going to be doomed to an ankle support during class? I’m thinking of looking up a sports doctor in the area and see what I can do to prevent injuring myself. My instructor recommended doing one-legged dips. I could start with out weight and add it gradually, but I’m not sure that will be enough. And given that I have dainty ankles, am I forever doomed to wobbly landings?

Update: Doing a little web research I landed on a fitness Q&A from Outside Magazine regarding strengthening and increasing stability in ankles. Here is what is suggested (three times a week):

1. Single leg balance: Without any support, stand on one leg for 30 seconds. Repeat six times with each leg. Begin with your eyes open, then progress to standing with your eyes closed. Once your master that, move on to standing on a slightly bent knee.

2. Toe-Heel: Sit in a high chair so that your foot comfortably hangs approximately two inches off the ground (use a stack of books on a chair to get the height set). Rhythmically tap your toe and then heel on the ground, trying to isolate all movement in the ankle. Start slow and build up speed to produce a fast but rhythmical tapping. Do 3 sets of 50 reps.

3. Side-to-Side: In the same sitting position and rhythm as Toe-Heel above, touch the outside edge of your foot on the ground and then your foot’s inside edge for one rep. Again, start slow and isolate the moment in the ankle as best your can. Speed up the rhythm as your coordination improves. Do three sets of 50 reps.

4. Wobble Board: Sit in a chair and place one foot in the center of a wobble board or Bosu platform with 360 degrees of rotation. Rotate the foot in a circle so the edge of the wobble board comes close to the floor but doesn’t touch. As your balance and coordination improves try standing on the wobble board with one leg. Do two sets of ten of the following motions for each foot: a. Forward-Backward, b. Side-to-Side c. clock-wise and counter-clockwise

Phil Astrachan is a CTS certified coach who practices physical therapy in San Francisco, California and specializes in the rehabilitation of endurance sports athletes.

Relax Grasshopper January 28, 2008

Well, my 6 year old and my husband got their blue belts on Saturday, and here I sit still an orange belt. My daughter Em was invited to a party that interfered with the belt test. I chose to take her to the party and we’ll test this coming Saturday. If you knew the heartbreak she and I went through last year after our move, you’d understand why I didn’t put Tae Kwon Do first. Last year at this time, she was lucky to have one friend, and now finally this year she has several. I feel it’s my duty to make sure that she cultivates whatever friendships she has. The thing that I find interesting (but not surprising), is out of the four people at the party, she was the only girl. She takes after her mother.

Anyhoo, I am SO done with the orange belt requirements and I’m ready to move on. The one thing I have a problem with, and I’m so glad that it isn’t part of the test, is sparring. Almost every class we practice paired up applications with your typical etiquette. One side attacks and the other defends, and you stop. Then the same side attacks and defends, usually about 6 times in a row, then we switch sides so the other side attacks. Rinse and repeat. It’s structured, we are usually doing it to a count the instructor is giving. This part, I have no problem with. It’s when we move on to one to one that my brain seizes up and I suddenly am the worst partner to have in the room. In one to one, we start like we do with paired up applications, but then instead of the pause between “sets”, we keep going, usually using only kicks. Instead of relaxing into it, I tense up and I can only jump back or evade, counterattacking doesn’t come naturally to me. I seem too concerned about foot positions and I can’t think of what kick works with what stance I’m in. So I wind up doing the same kick over and over. I’m not sure how to overcome this obstacle. It doesn’t help that this usually happens in the last 15 minutes of a 45 minute class when the sweat is dripping off of me and I’m totally sucking wind. One black belt (who I like the most) is tall and tends to come right at me. Usually I can’t do much more than block his attacks, forget about counterattacking. I’m not sure how much of this is inexperience. A more advanced student in the class had so much patience with me. I felt near tears and told him I was struggling, and he kindly told me just to slow it down. I think I’m going to try practicing with my husband at least once a week at home and see if I can’t get more comfortable with it.

And Grandmaster, gotta love him, seems the most intuitive man. I was getting my gear off after class and he comes up to me and says “You are going to make a great black belt!” I don’t know if he realized I needed that encouragement at that moment, or if he finally got a good look at how I was doing. Grandmaster doesn’t normally lead class. It’s usually his daughter or another black belt who lead, but he took over today. We were going over Poomsae since a lot of people had to learn a new one after testing last weekend, and other than a few minor tweaks, he seemed pleased with my forms. Steve had a private lesson with him tonight and he told him to ask me to consider taking a private lesson or two a month with him. He told Steve that I was really good, but with a little extra one on one practice I could be great. It feels good to have my hard work recognized. It makes me wish I could fast track to black belt, but I believe that the structure that is currently in place (3 months + between belts after orange belt) is a benefit. Mostly because by the time we are testing for black belt, we have to have learned and perform everything from white belt up. From memory. Without mistakes.

It’s something I’m going to be thinking about for a while. I’ve always been above average at whatever activity I choose to do, whether it is softball or spinning yarn. Having someone believe I can be great at something is a hell of a pat on the back. And so the countdown begins until October of 2010. Keeping my current schedule, that will be my first opportunity to test for black belt.

Back to the Beginning January 22, 2008

If you look at my links you’ll see I’ve linked to people who were there when I started blogging as Psychobabble. I felt it was time to come full circle.

Fight Quest January 22, 2008

Have you seen this show on Discovery Channel?

From the site:

A blend of cultural immersion and good old-fashioned smackdown, the series follows seasoned mixed martial arts fighter Jimmy Smith and 25-year-old rookie Doug Anderson as they travel the globe, adding fight styles from Kali to kickboxing to their repertoire.

In each episode, Jimmy and Doug will explore a new location identified with a style of fighting, such as kung fu in Dengfeng, China, and boxing in Mexico City, Mexico. There, after first immersing themselves in the sounds, smells and tastes of the local scene, the two guys will separate to train with local masters of that method — sometimes an ancient art of combat, and other times a modern form of butt-kicking. After several days of intense instruction, Jimmy and Doug will each face off against a local in a no-holds-barred test of skill.

The fighting is real. The injuries are real. In the end, only the best will win.

I’m thoroughly hooked. At first I thought it was two typical testosterone junkies trying to get themselves killed, but the more I watch it the more I like it. It’s become a permanent fixture on my DVR.

These two guys travel the world to learn about traditional fight styles in different countries. They go through 5 days of training then it culminates with them fighting experts in whatever style they studied.

Ok, so maybe they are testosterone junkies, but it makes for good television.

Weight-Loss Challenge January 22, 2008

This is my second round for the Weight-Loss Challenge. Last time I lost 12 lbs in 12 weeks. I’m hoping to lose about another 10. That would put me around 160 lbs on my 5′8″ frame. Not skinny by any standards, but I would be comfortable there.

Funny thing about my weight loss. Almost 2 years ago I weighed in at my all-time high, 209 lbs. I’ll find a picture to post soon. As of last night, I’m down to 172 and happier than I have been in a long time. Strange thing is, I never went on a diet. I’m not sure what changed, but I find that I no longer live to eat, but eat to live. I don’t eat unless I’m hungry, and if I’m craving a cookie, I’ll have 2-3 and be done with them. I’m certain that having less stress in my life is a huge reason I lost the weight. Sometime early last year it started coming off slowly and I don’t remember changing anything with my habits. I’ve lost 38 lbs and two pant sizes in about a year and a half and it’s one of the first times I think it’s actually going to stay off. The main reason being that I haven’t actually dieted. Nothing is being denied. I cook with butter and oil, I try not to eat any “fake” foods (margarine, artificial sweeteners, etc.), and if I want to eat something, I eat it, I just don’t feel the need to clean my plate or go for seconds.

Now that I’m practicing Tae Kwon Do, it’s the first time that I have regular, intense exercise as part of my life and I don’t feel like I have to work at it. I enjoy it, and still do after several months. It doesn’t hurt that even when I really, really don’t feel like going, I go anyway because I know I will feel so much better for it afterwards, which I always do.

Update: Ok, this is the best I could do so far. My husband has one I need to get from him that is better (worse?). This was at around 209 lbs. last year.

Ugh, it’s painful to see that belly. I was probably sucking it in too. I’ll have to find (or take) a picture of me recently that shows the difference. Maybe I should just stage another shot like this one.  I still have the top and pants I think, might be an interesting experiment.