I Get Nervous Just Thinking About It

My belt test this month that is.  It’s on the 23rd and if all goes well I’ll get my red belt.  I’m starting to internally freak out about how much more is being demanded of me.  I kind of knew this would happen, but living in denial is so much easier.  Now that I’m an assistant leader, I have to assist in a certain number of classes between belts.  With the acceleration, it’s not always the easiest to meet this requirement, but the thought of being denied an opportunity to test keeps me on top of it.  I also have to come up with the first of my leadership projects.  It is supposed to be something I’m interested in improving and it has to last an entire month.  I need to complete three of these before I can become a full leader (and wear the complete black dobok).  I’m considering something in the health & fitness arena.  Like weight loss (I hit a plateau and may have even gained a few with the current state of living arrangements.  My parents have been with us for a month – just a few more days to go).  It has to be something measurable.  So I could choose to set a goal for full push-ups and outline how I’m going to meet that goal.  It’s something that must last the whole month while working on it every day.

On top of assisting and leadership projects, I also am going to have to start verifying and learning nomination sequences on top of my belt level requirements.  I’m still a little fuzzy on what the difference is.

Ok, I looked it up in the information I have.  It’s like, take what I need to know now and multiply it by about 4.  The timing is absolutely fantastic (<end sarcasm>).  The kids will be in school and their activities outside of school and TKD will be in full tilt.  It was at this point that one of my classmates was ready to chuck it all.

It was also suggested that I start taking a third class during the week.  Now, in theory, this is a great idea, I’d love to in some ways.  However, the aforementioned children’s activities may make this a virtual impossibility.  If I add a third class I might only see my husband face to face on weekends.  And home cooked meals are going to be rare.

Ha ha, I just reviewed what I just wrote and my feeling of overwhelm is palpable.  Thankfully, I have enough friends in the academy that have been through this, that I will have plenty of help sorting it all out.  My biggest frustration is that it is just assumed that you know what you have to do, nothing is spelled out for you ever (not even as a white belt).  I’m quite certain this is by design, they are all about being a self-motivated, self-reliant person that they couldn’t do it any other way.

One thing I want to do soon is make a video of me doing my poomsae.  Lately it has felt fantastic and I’m really happy with how I’m coming along.  Apparently the two months between belts helps me to relax a little more and not feel like it’s life or death to learn it.

Also, as soon as the schedule allows I want to start going to Saturday classes so I can take the eskrima class.  It looks like a lot of fun and it would be nice to do something a little different.  I think the girls would enjoy it as well as soon as they are inducted as assistant leaders (they just earned it – yay!).

Oh, and since I’m going on and on, I figured I’d add something more.   Remember when I was questioning the commitment of my 10 year oldl?  I shouldn’t have worried.  She has become SO intense in class and really seems to be enjoying herself.  Even her instructor (whom I was talking to about the issues we were having) was blown away.  At least for now, that’s one less thing I need to worry about.

Gotta go to a lesson.


1 Comment

  1. i know, sometimes when i look at kids when they are not doing tae kwon do, they seem like normal annoying kids, but they truly arent, they hav the skill that NO adult could do easily

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