Ankle Answer….Sort of May 9, 2008

The good news is there is no stress fracture.  The bad news is there isn’t a very definitive diagnosis.  Doc said that the MRI didn’t show the tendons and ligaments very well, but it did show some inflammation and swelling.  So I will be partaking in physical therapy three times a week for 6 weeks.  I go for an initial evaluation next Wednesday so they can find out where I am currently and then it’s a go for Project Ankle Strengthening.

Also good is that I don’t have to entirely drop tae kwon do.  I can still do what I have been doing, which is avoiding jumps and any major twisting of that particular ankle.  I might take it a little easier on the running since that seems to aggravate it as well.  I’m so relieved that it wasn’t something that is going to sideline me.

Untwisted May 8, 2008

I got myself all twisted up with the diagnostic limbo.  Went to my coaching session today….begrudgingly, but was glad I went.  It gave me a chance to voice my frustrations at the limits my body seems to be imposing on me and Grandmaster reassured me that if the outcome of my MRI is not favorable, he can help me do some board breaks with my elbows and fists as alternates to jump kicks.  Sounds pretty cool, and the older (70-something) black belt at our school did that as his knees wouldn’t allow for jumping.

At the end of my session, Grandmaster guided me through a relaxation exercise and I feel so much better for it.

But if I come out of the doctor’s office without a diagnosis tomorrow, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Three X-Rays and and MRI May 7, 2008

And I still don’t know anything.  I had three x-rays at the doctor’s office and according to the good doc they were normal, I had a sinking feeling that I was just going to be dismissed when he started poking and prodding me around my ankle.  A few inches above my outer ankle was a point of tenderness and the place where I think the pain I feel radiates from.  So I’m sent to get an MRI.  When I get there I’m told that instead of the one series that was ordered I’m going to have two.  So I scramble to get the childcare covered and I’m there for 2 1/2 hours!  I am the proud owner of a disk with hundreds of images on it that I wish I knew how to read.  A copy was sent to the doc’s electronically and I see him again on Friday to see what’s up with the MRI results.

I’m of two minds on this.  I really don’t want it to be a fracture of any sort, yet I also don’t want the results to be….nothing.  I already cancelled my private lesson for tomorrow on the doc’s orders and I won’t be going to class that night either.  That’s the equivalent to three classes I’ll be missing in one day.  Way to get behind after I just barely started.

My biggest fear is that I’m going to be written off as a hypochondriac or something.  I’m getting increasingly frustrated at the limits I’ve had to impose on myself because of whatever the hell is going on with my foot…leg….whatever.  Y’all will get an update after my doctor’s appointment on Friday morning.  Let’s hope I get some answers.

Looking for Something….More May 6, 2008

Was chatting with Skwigg tonight after coming across a fitness program called P90X that sounded intriguing, as does the Red Carpet workouts she’s been doing. I’ve come to a point where I feel like I need something…more. Something with structure that tells me what I need to do and what to eat. The soreness I encountered from my weekend warrior gardening shows me that I can’t blast my muscles lifting weights and expect to perform at tae kwon do.

Yet my weight has been holding lately and I know that with a few tweaks exercise-wise and some major tweaks diet-wise I can drop some of this fat that seems to be clinging to my stomach and thighs. I swear I can see the hint of a six pack on some days, but there is just too much softness covering it up. Realistically though, my abdomen has suffered greatly at the hands of two pregnancies. Did you know that stretch marks can actually criss cross and intersect? I think even if I got down to body fat in the teens, I would have a stomach that jiggles and shimmies when I wiggle. I was not blessed in the elasticity department. People should be thankful that I will never, ever inflict the sight of me in a bikini upon their retinas. (um, wait…nevermind, I already broke that rule when I did BFL).

Anyhoo, I’m trying to work out some sort of conditioning/fat loss program I can do here at home with minimal equipment and a bum ankle. I know endurance is one of my weaker points, with strength starting to come up. I actually did twelve full (not modified) push ups in class the other night. And my back didn’t hurt at all, which was equally amazing. Usually I stick to the modified because the person leading the count seems to count in double time and it’s frustrating that I can get one push-up out to his three, but I can keep up if I’m on my knees. I’m slowly working up to the point where I no longer modify.

So in the next few weeks I’ll post any additional workouts and diet plans I’ll be following and I’ll do my best to track results. It will mostly be by body weight, but I may use the Omron as well. Just as a baseline, here’s a recent photo of me at about 168 lbs. Keep in mind that this is 41 lbs. lighter than I was just two years ago. Something shifted mentally for me and it just came off slowly, picking up speed when I started TKD last fall. This is one of the few pictures of myself that I think I look relaxed in, it’s also one of the first that I feel like I’m “normal” sized and not overweight.  For the record, I’m currently a size 12:

My Garden Kicked My Butt May 5, 2008

I did what I thought was some minor yard cleanup yesterday.  Mostly weeding and scooping out oak leaves from my planting beds.  Today I’m sore as hell and it made tae kwon do so much harder.

To add insult to injury, I went to pick up my daughter’s scooter yesterday, and the base swung around and clocked my right in my heel.  The one that already had a tight achilles tendon.  And at TKD today I managed to roll my big toe on that same foot and now it feels like I might have jammed it.

Oh, and my Monday night was made just a bit more hellish.  I always have my daughter’s class which is like a warmup for me, then the ab class, then my class.  Well today Grandmaster decided it was a good time to squeeze in a 1/2 hour private lesson since he wasn’t going to be available during our usual time tomorrow.

While the lesson was frustrating for me, I seemed to be in my own head more than usual, I am pleased that he seems to be nitpicking, which means that in general I am doing well.  I learned my entire blue belt poomsae (tae guk sah jang) in one day last week and he is just adjusting hand and foot positions mostly.  That and getting me to block more like a punch.  I seem to have palsy when I have to block and struggle to get the necessary level of power behind it.  We’re staying away from my board breaking kick since my ankle seems to be getting worse.  I’m a bit worried about what the doctor is going to find out on Wednesday.  I’m hoping it gets figured out then, but I have an inkling that I’m going to get sent for x-rays or an MRI or something so it might take some time to figure out what I did to myself.  I’m hoping it’s something that can heal.  I’m concerned that it could be the onset of arthritis which runs in my family.  I’m trying to keep myself from thinking about it too much.

Hmmm, Kool-Aid May 5, 2008

Walking home after dropping the kids off at school I was going through the hand movements in my poomsae.  I think I officially drank the kool-aid.

Notes from the Universe, Monday morning edition April 28, 2008

Ever notice, Amy, how when you stop trying to make something work that hasn’t been working, new stuff appears and starts working?

Yeah, time and time again I’ve noticed that Universe, thanks for the reminder.  Sometimes it feels like either everything is working great or nothing is.  I think I’m currently moving from one of those to the other.  And not in the direction I would prefer.

Belt test in an hour April 26, 2008

I’m leaving in a few minutes to head to the dojang for my belt test today. I’ll be getting my blue belt today unless something catastrophic happens. I’m scared and nervous. I know I have a good grasp on what I need to know, but there’s something about the test format that scares the bejeezus out of me. I should be back later with a report on how it all went.

UPDATE: The test went well, I broke my board on the first kick and I felt good the whole time. Also, Grandmaster took me aside afterward and congratulated me on getting it all together in such a short amount of time. I’m feeling pretty damn good about myself right now.

Twitter April 24, 2008

I’m having fun with Twitter.  I’m minivanninja, and beware, I allowed my obnoxious side out with the background.  Prepare your retinas.

Notes from the Universe April 24, 2008

Reading Wendy over at The Melan’jack, I saw that she posted some of her Notes from the Universe.  I had subscribed a few years ago and stopped, but I’ve been looking for something that could stand in as a daily affirmation or some such thing, and I re-subscribed.  Occasionally I’ll share the better nuggets with all of you.

Hmm…..nuggets.